listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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