Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize