I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
