apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
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And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
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I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize