I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
