You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
