grandma shit on top of the toilet
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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