Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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