I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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