can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
