YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
