So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
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