another moral hangover. fuck.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
