I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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