Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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