My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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