Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
