My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
