He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
