i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize