I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
