Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
