He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
