Her vagina should come with caution tape.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
