Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
