Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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