Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
