My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
