hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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