You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Randomize
