After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
