ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I touched a dick in church today
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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