Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
