ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
