You're so nebulous sometimes
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
