You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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