you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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