have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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