I think I am morally bankrupt
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
