Midget sex pt 2 tonight
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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