Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
