Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
