Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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