gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
