people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
