dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
