I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
