Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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