soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
