Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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