Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I supernannyed him into submission
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
