I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
