i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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