I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
