im drinking this country out of the recession.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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