Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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