That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
