i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
