i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
stop calling my apartment porn island.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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