I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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