I accidentally had phone sex last night
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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