Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I can't turn off my feet"
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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