My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
