I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
