All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize