The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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