found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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