if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
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then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
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let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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