Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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